In life, there are obstacles we all must face from a small stride to large jumps. We think to ourselves “What did I do to deserve this?” or “Why is this happening?” thoughts that follow us from birth (Yes, Birth) to now. I use to run around my grandmother’s garden stomping on all the weeds so they wouldn’t hurt her vegetables and make the garden look untidy for I thought this will help the plants to grow. Those plants in my mind had obstacles that they needed to get around, and I helped them.
I’m now an adult in my mid 20’s and like the young girl helping the plants she needs to do that again but for herself as a grown adult. For now I have a beautiful young daughter named Robin born January 24th, 2014. Robin is my world, and one of our goals is to show Robin the world and go on adventures with her. I owe my beautiful daughter for what comes next for if It weren’t for her I would not have kicked myself in the butt like I should have years ago. I pushed myself to become better than I was and become who I am not what I thought I was. I forced myself to go back to college and earn my degree in Psychology so I could help those around me with their obstacles and their challenges.
I enrolled at the University of Phoenix Online and in as little as three weeks I’m now on my way to earning that degree and providing for my family and myself. I spoke to an amazing woman during my acceptance process and still talk to her now. She first asked me the most important question of my life, and it brought me to question my degree choice in a positive way. I originally went to be a Business women whether it was a manager, CEO or owning a business of my own thinking that it was my calling and what I was destined to do. Two years into my program something terrible in my life happened everything came to a dead stop. I had dropped out of college to care for my now ex-boyfriend and did not want to resume my degree after his recovery when my heart/mind was not in it. The question Nicole asked me was this “Do you want to start where you left off with the Business?” It may seem like a simple question and a minor one but to me it was the icing on the cake. I realized that business is not my true calling, and it wasn’t something I wanted to do it was something I chose right out of high school because I was pressured into going to college. So my answer to her was NO.
Now I’m enrolled like I mentioned before doing something that I’m not only passionate about but something that I also enjoy doing. I’m going for my Bachelors of Science in Psychology and with this degree I will then pursue Social work and Child/Family services. I’m going to push myself when I need to be pushed, Coach myself when I need to be coached; dump a bucket of water on my head when I start thinking it’s too hard and I can’t do it. I CAN DO IT, and it MAY be hard and I MAY want to go play video games but I’m reaching my goal and gosh darn it I’m going to get to it this time! I’m going to leave that school big smile on my face and Diploma in hand. I’m going to Win this time!
Mom, I can’t wait till I’m big like you and I can wear a bra and go to work – Me as a Young Girl around 6 years old
Every kid at some point during their lives will say something along the words of “I can’t wait to grow up” and then we do grow up and find out that growing up isn’t as fun, exciting and cracked up as we made it sound like as children. We find out that being an adult has many responsibilities that we didn’t think of as young children. We realize that all the free time we thought that our parents had they really didn’t have. Saying this brings me to the 2nd part of this post.
If I could go backwards in life and redo my childhood I’d start from age 8. That’s when I started babysitting our neighbors kid and from there was babysitting every weekend with one weekend being 4 kids at once various ages. Instead of being excited to be a babysitter and volunteering for the task I would of kindly declined. At age 12 I started volunteering at our local Children’s Museum for 6-8 hours a day. I was there for a good 4 years stopped around age 16. It was a fun place don’t get me wrong having the younger kids come in all excited to make paper and want to color them for someone they love was one of the most amazing experiences I had at the time and it made me very happy.
Then that age came, “Yes that age” you know what i’m talking about when I say that. I turned 16 and my parents wanted me to start thinking about getting a job and I was very resist on doing so. However, they kept pushing and I landed my first job at Tim Hortons which lasted 3 days (Thats a post for another day) and went to Best Buy for 5 years. I have been in the working world since that day and like I mentioned before if I could turn back time and kindly decline the offer to babysit, turn around and run down the hill to join my friends playing on the playground behind our housing building. I would of taken my childhood to be a kid and not grow up fast.
If anyone is reading this and you are now a parent, aunt, uncle, grandparent or someone a child looks up to; please encourage them to be a kid and not wish to grow up to fast too soon.
I don’t understand why people say the things they do to other, why they think it’s okay to hurt someone else. I have been through a lot since I was a child to now and I never once thought that being called names as an adult would be worse then being bullied as a young teenager in High school. The sad part about hurting others is it always ends up being the person closest to us the person that we shouldn’t be hurting but we are.
Bitch, Drama Queen, Liar, Controlling this is just a few of the things I’ve been called in just 2 months and from people that I once highly cared about. I broke down into a million pieces and spent half of my night in tears and the other half curled up on my bed surfing the internet. How could they say those things? How can they take a small misunderstanding and blow up to the point of no return? Do they see that they are hurting me and the people around me? These were the questions replaying over and over in my head and If it weren’t for Zach(my boyfriend) who came up to cheer me up; I probably would of hid in our bedroom all night and most of today. The words he said to me were simple but yet had so much meaning in them “Ignore them and don’t let them get to you” and that’s exactly what I decided to do. I chose exactly that, I chose not to allow them to define who I am for I know and He knows who I truly am.
I may of been Run over and Squashed but I got back up and am now taking control of the situation by ignoring them and moving on with our lives.
Every little girl believes in Fairy Tales and wants to be a princess with a prince and a castle. We dream of having a bedroom with old style canopy beds and tons of colorful flowers and a pony outside. However, I was never your typical little girl for I wanted to play with those small plastic army men and G.I Joe’s. I wanted a Car room with my favorite old style cars on the walls and wheels popping out of the wall. As I was growing up I never followed what was “the in thing” at the time instead I did what I wanted, liked what I wanted and became who I am today through all my decisions and mistakes. Mistakes are what brought me to where I am today and have written a chapter in my life that I feel I can share with the world and build other chapters from it. I now have an amazing family with a beautiful little girl and the life that may not always be perfect but is perfect to me.